Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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