She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
