It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
