she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
