I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
