hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
This girl is more easily done than said...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
