My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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