It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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