I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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