Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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