'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
