I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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