I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
