Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I will pee on everything he values.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
