this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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