She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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