I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
