i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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