he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
