I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
