I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
