wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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