dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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