so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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