I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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