In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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