I am puke
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
is it fun? or sober?
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