so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize