you turned your livingroom into a bong?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
