Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
