I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
