he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
