yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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