What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
