is your mom at the bar?
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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