We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
