I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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