hell yes lets make some ravioli
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
