Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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