It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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