i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
