i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize