lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
They have beer where we have blood.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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