THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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