I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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