Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
