mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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