This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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