Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
