just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
