In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
