I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm both gender and math confused
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
