New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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