im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
