When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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