She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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