I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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