1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
