Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
